


In the Icebox

by ShiroHatzuki



Category: Hetalia: Axis Powers
Genre: Human & Country Names Used, Other, i only rated it teen because there's mild language scattered about, if you asked how high i was i wouldn't be able to answer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-27
Updated: 2017-05-27
Packaged: 2018-11-05 12:50:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,217
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11013774
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ShiroHatzuki/pseuds/ShiroHatzuki
Summary: Emil's brother is staying over for a while, and he's not happy about the lack of privacy.





	In the Icebox

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Hetalia - Crack Pairings](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/293901) by opperationpecan. 



> Well, I say that another work inspired me, but this story isn't very heavily based off of it. Still, it did inspire me, sooo... (But watch the thing it's quality I promise) There are a bunch of pairings that I didn't mention, but they're either only briefly mentioned, or they're a surprise. ("surprise")

It had been a long day for Emil. The way the European meeting about global warming went could only be described as garbage. Emil was barely able to talk about the situation with Mr. Puffin and such, and even then, most of the other countries probably weren’t even listening to him. Even after the chaos that was wrongly labeled a “meeting” was over, Emi’s troubles didn’t cease. Lukas had been staying at his house for the past two weeks, and he wouldn’t leave until next month. Emil didn’t think he could stand any more of Lukas’s constant “call me ‘big brother,’ Ice” or “you mean ‘big brother.’”

When Emil walked through the front door of his house, a small, black and white bird flew up to greet him. “How’d it go?” Mr. Puffin asked as he landed atop Emil’s head.

“Complete crap,” Emil replied dryly, throwing his shoes, coat, and scarf in an unorganized heap in the entrance way. “France decided it was a great idea to strip, Greece fell asleep in the table, -and by that, I mean he laid his entire body on the table and fell asleep like that- Romano was being an asshole to everyone, England and Norge kept talking about magic and fairies or whatever, Finland and Switzerland almost had a shootout across the table-”

“Woah, hold on!” Mr. Puffin interrupted, “The hell happened that almost made Fin pull out a gun?!”

“I don’t even know,” Emil sighed, “I think someone insulted the names he came up with and he mistook that culprit for Switzerland. Anyways,” Emil continued, “Austria got lost and we had to play his piano that he brought to the meeting again to help him find his way, everyone was trying to arm-wrestle Hungary, and Germany was screaming at all of them.”

“Sounds rough,” Mr. Puffin concluded as he nestled comfortably into Emil’s hair. “Did anyone win the arm-wrestling marathon?”

“No, Miss Hungary won every time without breaking a sweat.”

The bird started to clean his feathers. “I swear, that girl must be part gorilla.”

“If she heard that, she’d kill you,” Emil commented.

“Good thing you’re the only one who knows what I’m saying, then.”

Emil yawned. “Well, at least Hong was there to pick me up, so I didn’t have to go home with Lukas.” As he talked he searched for his most comfortable pair of slippers, which was on the floor next to his items that he carelessly threw. Emil slipped them on and headed towards the kitchen. The whole time, his head made no movements that would cause Mr. Puffin to fall from it- a skill which had been obtained through the many years that the puffin used his head as a perch. “By the way, where is Lukas?”

“Norge is in the shower,” Mr. Puffin answered. “He seemed sorta depressed that ya didn’t come home with him earlier.” The bird paused for a moment, “Say, you’re home later than usual, when I think about it. What’s up with that?”

“Hong and I stopped by a coffee shop on our way back,” Emil told him. “He was treating me.”

“Oh, a date, eh?” Mr. Puffing teased.

“No way. We’re just friends. Anyways, I’m not the kind of guy to cheat.”

Mr. Puffin launched himself from the top of Emil’s head and landed gracefully in front of the youth. If a puffing could frown, he was most definitely frowning as he peered up at his friend. Emil had to stop just outside of the kitchen to avoid kicking the bird. “Dude, seriously?” Mr. Puffin chided, “This so-called ‘relationship’ with your ‘love’ has got to be unhealthy. You need to realise this and move on.”

“Our relationship is perfectly fine!” Emil snapped. “Both of us are happy and that’s more than enough.”

Mr. Puffin turned his eyes up to the heavens. “It’s hard to believe your ‘lover’ has any emotions at all. Well, I guess I’ll leave you two alone or whatever. I’ll be hanging out with Hana.” With that, the bird took off and flew out an open window towards Tino’s and Berwald’s house.

Emil shook his head. “That guy just doesn’t get that what we have is special. No one does,” he said to no one in particular. He stepped into the kitchen, and there was his lover stood, as always, next to the countertop, tall and proud.

Overcome with desire, Emil threw his arms around his love, “Oh, how I’ve missed you!” he sang as he ran his fingers along the straight, sleek edges of his one and only. “You missed me too, didn’t you?” He pressed his lips passionately against the fridge’s door.

Suddenly, and low, almost delicate voice Emil was all too familiar and annoyed with called to him from upstairs. “Iceland?”

With a sigh, Emil pulled away from his kissing session with the fridge and shouted back, “Yes, Norge?”

“Are you making out with the fridge again?”

“Uh… no?”

“Fucking liar. I’m coming down.” From where he stood, Emil could see Lukas lightly trotting down the stairs.

Emil crossed his arms as his brother entered to kitchen. He really did not what to had this debate with the older man. “I shouldn’t hear you complaining about it. I know what you’ve been doing to the butter.”

“That’s different,” Lukas stated in his calm, monotone manner.

“How?” the younger man shot back, “It’s even worse, really.”

“It’s perfectly fine.”

“How’s it fine?!” Emil opened to fridge and pulled out a tub of butter, which he then ripped to top off of and presented its contents ot Lukas. “See, you did it to this one, too! Do you think I want to spread this on my toast now?”

The older man place a hand on his hip. “Sure you would. Actually, I bet you would love to.”

“You sick- no! Don’t even try to mix reality with your weird imagination.” Emil looked inside the tub once more and shook his head. “Wearing lipstick and kissing the butter multiple times. What’s wrong with you?”

Lukas sighed. “Okay, I may been a little drunk out of my mind last night because I may not be the best at holding my liquor.”

“If you’re going to get drunk, at least mess with Matthias’s butter or something.”

“At least I don’t pretend to be dating an inanimate object. I’ll bet that if your fridge broke, you’d replace it in a second.”

“Hey, don’t talk about the love of my life like that!” Emil turned and peered into the fridge’s non-existent eyes. “Don’t listen to him, love. Lukas doesn’t know what he’s talking about.”

Lukas rolled his eyes. “And you call the rest of us weird.” He paused for a moment before speaking once more, this time in a sly, I’ll-strike-a-bargain-with-you-but-for-a- price-that-works-in-my-favor sort of way. “How about this? I’ll stop teasing you about you and your ‘lover’ if you do one thing.”

Emil , who had gone back to hugging his fridge, turned back to his brother, raising an eyebrow at his words. “Oh yeah? What is it?”

“Call me ‘big brother,’” Lukas smirked.

The youth was quick to thrust his thumb out and turn it down to the floor. “No,” he sternly replied.

Emil didn’t think he could last another second of having to deal with his brother.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for bothering to read this absolute garbage at all. *throws self in trashcan*


End file.
